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Jim Whitelaw: Caught in a landslide of EU bureaucracy

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In 2016 the British public voted to leave the EU, despite a very skewed campaign by the government and big business.  We then wasted almost a full year before we triggered article 50, and the excuse was that we had to get things in place.

Another year was then wasted as Theresa May tried to force through a woefully inadequate withdrawal agreement.  Another 6 months or so took us up to the end of 2019 and wonders of wonders, Boris Johnson managed to get an amended bill through Parliament.  We finally left the EU on the 31st of January 2020, with a transition period to last a further 11 months in which the future trading arrangements would be discussed and agreed.

Well, that is the official line anyway, that is what the Conservative government would have you believe happened.  But here is my theory about what really happened.

Back in 2013 or maybe 2014 when the good guys all met in Davos, a quiet room was set aside for Mr Juncker, Mr Cameron, Fräulein Merckel and Napoleon.  They were joined by a few other essential people including the paymaster George Soros.  They discussed the possibility of a Brexit vote going against them and what precautionary steps they should take to cover this eventuality.  This is the plan they came up with.

1.       David Cameron to swing the full weight of the British Government behind the stay campaign.

2.       George Osborne to co-ordinate a negative response from the treasury and conduct a blistering onslaught of dire financial predictions.

3.       President Obama also committed to assisting by promising USA disproval of Brexit.

4.       George Soros promised unlimited funding through multiple untraceable sources to fund anti-Brexit campaigns.  He also promised to fund any court cases required to slow down or impede progress.  He would also be responsible for concerted pushback from large corporations.

5.       Several successors, including Theresa May, earmarked to take over in the unlikely event that the UK voted to leave in the light of measures to be enacted.

6.       Boris Johnson and Michael Gove identified as backup, should the entire plan go wrong.  They would identify as Brexiteers and go along with the charade while ensuring the UK stays as close as possible and under the full control of the EU.

7.       If all else fails and the public insist on going through with it, a weak agreement would be negotiated and passed by placid lower house.  It was felt no arrangements needed to be made with the upper house as they were sufficiently indebted to the EU anyway.

8.       After the agreement was in place and the UK had finally left the EU, the EU should then tighten the screws, cause border chaos, and disrupt all trading with the UK from any source possible.  The aim should be to bring the British public to heal and beg to be re-instated to the EU.  The EU would allow a re-admittance but all opt-outs would be cancelled, the rebate would be removed and the UK would have to give solid assurances that it would join the Eurozone within 3 years.

Three years down the line, they added a brilliant step by weaponizing the Irish border, but it should be noted that this was not part of the original plan.  The plan has not gone as they had wished, having expected it curtail at step 4., but with their incredibly careful planning, the project is still under control and a successful conclusion can be expected within a few years.

Jim Whitelaw